BB5 Preview: Let's
Psycho-Analyze the BB5 Women
It's twins, twins,
and more twins. Boy oh boy, isn't this exciting that they've
somehow found several pairs of beautiful-people twins, all
of which the spoilers think will be put in the Big Brother
house? Woo-ee.
 But
enough second-guessing excitement. Let's pull up a chair
and spend a moment discussing each of the female houseguests.
The Women
Arnold (Shapiro)
didn't take any chances this time around with non-beautiful
people. He decided to go all out in the beauty and the hot-body
category. Only one woman isn't either a fitness champion,
a Hollywood B-movie actress, or already has a modeling portfolio.
And the one who doesn't has that cool, alterna-chick hipness
beauty.
Will it matter
if they're not capable of having an interesting, thought-provoking
conversation? It might. This group might have such capabilities,
but one must admit that the priority with this group wasn't
their sparkling personalities. Besides, all the editors have
to do is find 30 seconds to a minute of material for the TV
show. All the boring crap can easily be edited out.
For all you live
feed devotees, I hope I'm wrong. I hope interesting things
happen outside of the TV show. Only time will tell.
But enough of that
crap. Let's meet the Big Brother Babes...
 Adria
is a super-fit super-hottie married 30-year-old who uses exclamation
points a lot when she talks. She is one-half of the mildly
famous Fitness Twins (Ms. Fitness World 2000 and 2001 Champion,
Book: "It Takes Two - Twin-ological Training and Nutrition
with the Fitness Twins", elite training nutrition sport-conditioning
and fitness facility, and Fitness Video). According to an
interview
at brianx.com, their greatest talent? "Our ability
to motivate. It is definitely a gift we both have, and we
thrive on doing so." I'm expecting a lot of high-fives
and overly-cheery "YOU CAN DO IT!" comments.
Most of the houseguests
are in great shape. They probably know how to eat healthy
and how to exercise. Will this Fitness Twin be able to step
back and let someone else suggest what to eat and how to exercise?
Oooooh, the conflict!
 How
many times are we going to hear how Ms. FitnessTwin knows
what's healthy and how to eat right and how things should
be cooked and how many carbs are in this and how much unsaturated
fat is in that? How will she deal with the fact that the
peanut butter she'll be forced to eat is not natural and actually
contains... GASP!... 6 grams of sugar per serving? What will
she do if she has to eat WHITE BREAD?!
And will she be
able to tone down her self-promotion machine?
Speaking of which,
go take a look at her site http://www.fitnesstwins.com.
Good stuff!
 Diane
is a 22-year-old budding fashion and runway actress/model
wannabe who has an identical twin sister, Lindsey. Originally
from Texas, she attended Hillsboro, Ohio, High School, where
she was a cheerleader and a member of the National Honor Society.
She is now a senior at Northern Kentucky University studying
communications. A Communications major...
22-years-old feisty
cocktail waitress/actress/fashion-runway model whose favorite
music is R&B, rap, hip-hop, and country (bleckh). In
her profile
at OneModelPlace.com,
she says, "I am very active, adventurous, easy going,
very forward, and I have the best sense of humor. I try to
always keep life interesting."
Already, we've
hit the maximum number of clichés a person is able to use
when describing themselves. After two profiles and many pictures,
I still know nothing about her.
Diane might've
been the hottest girl in her high school, but when it comes
to the world of actresses and modeling, she isn't quite up
to that level. She'll be nice to look at for a while, though,
but I'm not expecting much in the interesting personality
department. Actually, I see potential for some ghetto 'tude
that'll surely surface once she learns that one of the pretty
girls has been talking trash about her.
"I KNOW you
didn't just call me what I THINK you called me!"
Holly is
very appropriately named after all the Hollywood blonde clichés
she so very well embodies. I don't think even the greatest
actress in the world could play a ditzy blonde better than
Holly; so much so, in fact, that I can't help but to think
at least part of it is an act. Over at NationalLampoonNetworks.com,
you can see, "Watch Holly King aka 'Gear Girl' as she
attempts to describe the Racing Wheel."
 And
attempt was the operative word. If she WASN'T acting, then
we'll probably have whole discussion threads devoted entirely
to phrases she's uttered. But wouldn't it be impressive if
she turns out to be all mensa-super-intelligent...
"I do agree
with your statement, however one must presuppose the simple
fact that the human species is but merely an organism..."
(See that? Even
when I TRY to sound intelligent, it just doesn't quite work,
does it?)
 Please,
Holly! Surprise us and be really smart. This would go against
the general American public preference, though. For those
who frequented Big Brother discussion boards when Roddy was
in the house, you'll remember how so many people couldn't
deal with those times when Roddy would just speak intelligence
and philosophy and historical facts. Hell, if I were in a
house for 3 months and I couldn't write or read or listen
to music, I'd be spewing out so much crap just to fight the
boredom.
So, hopefully,
Holly is just an amazing actress and Arnold got fooled into
selecting someone who isn't the beautiful blonde easy-to-make-fun-of
bimbo character.
But I have doubts.
I saw part of her CBS video profile on Craig Kilborne's Late
Late Show. At the time, I didn't realize they were showing
the actual contestants. I thought they were showing a sampling
of the worst kind of Reality TV people in our beautiful country.
What's worse than Holly's ditz is her super-blonde-super-annoying
laugh; something that I must believe is actually real and
not an act.
But hey, she'll
be fun, right? And she's beautiful and she has a smokin'
bod. That's all that matters!
 Jennifer
is the 21-year-old restaurant hostess alterna-chick hipster
who will miss her art supplies. She likes to quote hip cool
things like, "I'll sleep when I'm dead" and "Coffee
is God" and watch alternative movies and remind us that
she's odd.
(I should take
this moment to remind all you hip, alterna-peoples that in
your quest to be ODD, you become a living cliché. Your parents
know more than you think and someday it'll feel so good to
not use peer pressure as a guide to life's decision-making
process.)
Jennifer is one
of those people that becomes more and more attractive the
more you get to know her. And this girl isn't unattractive
in the least. It's just that she's competing in the beauty
department with super-hotties. She'll be cool because she
may not even shave her legs and she won't flip out if she
hears a dirty joke and she won't give a crap if one of the
guys sees her boobs.
I do like how Jennifer
admits to be being overly judgmental. Most people just don't
admit it. If she sticks around long enough (which she probably
will because she comes across like one of those girls that
guys like to hang around with and not just for sex), she'll
eventually get angry at someone and be all "Yeah whatever!"
judgmental but then as she comes to know this person she'll
have an epiphany, of sorts, and then go off on a long diatribe
about how she's discovered the secret to accepting others
for what they are. Remember that I wrote this on July 5th
and refer back to this article when the live feeds posters
begin documenting her mental breakthrough that is the answer
to all things and possibly the solution for world peace.
 Karen
is a 30-year-old married portrait artist who likes to say
things that she believes people will think is really cool.
A few examples...
Motto:
Don't piss in my ear and tell me it's raining
Why
BB?
This competition is in my blood!
News
she'll miss:
Hearing how President "Super-Genius" plans to get
re-elected
How
will she win?
Gonna wind that House up tighter than a bull's a** in fly
season!
What
she'll miss:
Big Italian sausage! Mmmm... you know what I'm sayin'?
Speaking of big
Italian sausages... she also stated that she's usually with
her hubby 24/7 and that this will tap her emotions hard.
Given this, if she sticks in the house more than 4-5 weeks,
I predict that she'll come very close to or actually have
an extra-marital fondling fling -- especially if she thinks
no one can see. Just a hunch. I could be mistaken.
 Just
when you think you have in the house what some may call a
"Who's met the most famous people" or "Who's
accomplished the most" pecking order, with World Fitness
champion Adria and Hollywood starlet Holly at the top of the
heap, along comes trophy-wife-looking Karen who just so happens
to be a VERY accomplished portrait artist.
Take a look at
this and prepare to be impressed:
KONGart.com
presents Artist Karen O'Neil Gancy
A few snippets
from her bio:
"In 1998,
Karen presented a tribute piece to the '98 Yankees at the
opening of the World Series. The artwork is displayed in the
player's clubhouse and is considered their good luck charm."
I can't stand the
Yankees, but one must admit that there is not a more known
baseball team. And speaking of American icons...
"She had the
honor of being commissioned to create a fine art representation
of the Sopranos cast for the actors and their agents. Rock
star Jon BonJovi has the Soprano print hanging in his home."
Jon BonJovi!!
 Despite
this impressive resume, my gut feeling tells me she'll be
one of the first to go. I'm not sure why, but if I had to
guess, I'd say it's a combination of her being outspoken to
the point of being too blunt, her missing her 24/7 husband,
and her already being an accomplished artist and just being
in the house increased her notoriety to the point where she
doesn't really need to win.
Plus, what is an
artist left to do if they have their quills and their brushes
taken away? I know...
Insanity!
I hope she stays
in the house long, because there are few things more intense
than a tortured artist. And for a person such as myself who's
had a lifelong interest in psychology, nothing could be more
interesting to ponder and learn from.
 Lori
is THE super-hottie in the house. The other women are attractive
-- beautiful, even. But Lori is on a different level. Plus,
she has that look that Arnold loves. First we had Lisa, then
Erika (see bottom of this article), and now it's Lori.
Her CBS bio states
that she's a 26-year-old yoga instructor. There's something
about yoga that brings out the beauty in a woman. Anytime
I hear that a woman does yoga, I give her a second look.
I can't help it. It's healthy (which means that she cares
about herself and about life, in general) AND it's spiritual
(which means that she cares about herself and about life,
in general).
 Still,
I must admit that her CBS bio is a little empty. No, not
a little empty... a LOT. Lori is my pick to be the most
NOTHING other than just being nice and a pretty face.
And a pretty face
she has. In fact, it's absolutely gorgeous... as long as
she SMILES. When she doesn't smile, it's almost like she's
a completely different person. So, if you happen to know
her, please remind her to stop doing that sexy pout thing
and just smile.
Here, go have a
look for yourself. You'll see what I mean. She has many pictures
located at YangsOnline.com.
So there you go.
We have several model/actress wannabes who will find themselves,
possibly for the first time in their lives, not the most beautiful
person in the room. I expect a lot of sideways-glances pretend-to-be-sickly-nice
jealousy, especially in the beginning.
Plus, what might
turn out to be a really fascinating situation is that three,
maybe four, of these five women seem to be smarter, more active,
more successful, more everything than any of the guys. How
will these guys handle being totally inferior to these women?
Unless they have something resembling a brain and some personality
(which Marvin might be the only one to have such things),
their looks are only going to carry them as far as their vote
is needed.
Could be fun!
Coming soon...
 The
Big Brother 5 men are psycho-analyzed and predicted upon.
 Here
are pictures of Lisa and Erika -- a few examples of Arnold's
favorite look.
Thank
you for reading my crap!
For links
and more links to Big Brother, visit SirLinksaLot.net
And feel
free to email your
comments and suggestions to my bad self -- rob@letusponder.com.
|
