AGE 22 MARITAL STATUS Single OCCUPATION Mortician HOMETOWN Liberty, MS
Biography
Darrah Johnson was born and raised in
Liberty, Mississippi, and works as a mortician/funeral
director. She previously worked as a salesperson,
a fitness trainer and a waitress. She
holds an Associate of Arts degree in
mortuary science from the Southwest
Mississippi Community College and Holmes
Community College of Funeral Services.
Her favorite hobbies include riding four-wheelers,
working out and hunting. She describes
herself as outspoken, daring and adventurous.
She would love to be a coroner.
She is most proud of passing her National
Board of Funeral Service exam to become
a certified mortician and is also proud
of winning Most Beautiful at Holmes
Community College. Her favorite sports
are softball and basketball.
Her dad is her hero because he's worked
hard for the family and has always been
there for her. Her primary motive for
participating is for the challenge and
the fact that she'd love to meet new people
from all over the world with different
personalities. She feels she could do
well on SURVIVOR: PEARL ISLANDS because
she considers herself hard working, competitive,
athletic, ambitious, determined and in
great physical and mental health. Her
birth date is May 19, 1981.
Colors: Pink, green
Scents: Love Spell by Victoria's Secret, coconut
Flowers: Tulip, daisy, yellow rose, petunia, sunflower
Board Games: Scrabble, Monopoly, checkers
Video Games: Dukes of Hazzard, Nascar Racing, Deer Hunter
Sports to Play: Softball, basketball
Sports Teams: Ole Miss, Buccaneers, Lakers, Saints
Outdoor Activities: Hunting, fishing, jet skiing, skiing, riding 4-wheelers
TV Shows: SURVIVOR, CSI, The Bachelor, The Bachelorette, Six Feet Under, American Idol, The Real World, Friends, That '70s Show
Movies: Dumb and Dumber, Just Married, Urban Cowboy, Pure Country, Sweet Home Alabama
Actors: Jean-Claude Van Damme, Jim Carrey, Adam Sandler
Actresses: Julia Roberts, Reese Witherspoon, Lisa Kudrow, Sandra Bullock
Music: Country, 80s, some Rock, some Rap
Magazines: Oxygen, Muscle & Fitness, Glamour, In Touch, People
Books/Authors: Romance novels, Nora Roberts
Cereals: Honey Bunches of Oats, Frosted Flakes, Fruit Loops
Fruits: Grapes, Granny Smith apple, peach, orange, watermelon
Snack Foods: Salt & Vinegar Lays, Baked Lays, Doritos, Fritos, peanut butter crackers, vanilla wafers
Cookies: Chocolate chip M&M, sugar
Candy Bars: Snickers, Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Whatchamacallit, Almond Joy
Alcoholic Drinks: Doesn't drink
Non-Alcoholic: Diet Coke, Mountain Dew
(My
little disclaimer: As with all Survivor
profiles, I am totally making all this
stuff up as if I actually have a clue.
I do not in any way know any of these
survivors. However, I've received many
emails from past Survivors complimenting
me on my insight. So, although I make
this crap up, sometimes I'm actually right.)
There's
something about a little hottie choosing
the life of a coroner that just doesn't
sit right with me.
Neither
did her video. It starts out with potential,
showing her standing behind a herse in
a surprisingly appealing black outfit
and f' me boots. Then the camera changes
and we slowly move through a room full
of coffins only to focus in on one that's
closed. I was thinking, "No way
is she going to pop up out of that thing.
Surely she wouldn't..."
But
then she not only opened it up from inside,
but she's also wearing a leopard-print
bikini. Talk about conflicting images.
It
goes from bad to worse when she speaks
in that far too southern Southern accent:
"My name is Darrah Johnson from Liberty,
Mississippi. I am a certified mortician
and I'm also a certified ass-kicker."
Camera changes to Darrah in fancy dress
for a small-town girl and tiara and massively
huge fake smile and plucked eyebrows,
"I'm also a beauty queen." Fake
smile fake smile different camera angle
of fake smile plucked eyebrows fake smile.
Next,
she's sitting on a log in a Tom Sawyer
country girl outfit, complete with pigtails
(or ponytails, I always forget which is
which) and she looks just adorable. But
then she hocks a big loogy, "...
and I'm not too shy to let them know that
this Tom Sawyer country girl can do anything...
Hhhhaeucckk Ptooey!"
Somewhere
there are guys thinking, "Hey now!
A mortician who hocks loogies. That's
MY kind of girl!"
Darrah
stated that she is proud of winning Most
Beautiful at Holmes Community College.
Now I could be entirely mistaken, but
I'm thinking there wasn't a lot of beauty
competition at Holmes Community College
of Funeral Services.
In
the video profile, her accent is toned
down a bit so she wasn't quite as annoying.
(Keep in mind, I LOVE the southern accent.)
She said that she was impatient and has
a short temper, which is a good thing
for those of us watching Survivor because
a good fight, even for idiotic reasons,
always makes things more interesting.
Let's hope that the lack of food and the
heat and the bugs gets to her and she
starts wiggin' out on people.
Since
Darrah has been so popular on the internet
(only Rupert surpasses her when it comes
to Search Engine requests to my site -
as of 4/19/04), I figured I may as well
include a few more shots.
Here's
a beautiful shot of her swimming and another
of someone maybe wiping something off
her chin.
Favorites
There's
something about a little hottie choosing
the life of a coroner that just doesn't
sit right with me.
.
In
the video profile, her accent is toned
down a bit so she wasn't quite as annoying.
(Keep in mind, I LOVE the southern accent.)
She said that she was impatient and has
a short temper, which is a good thing
for those of us watching Survivor because
a good fight, even for idiotic reasons,
always makes things more interesting.
Let's hope that the lack of food and the
heat and the bugs gets to her and she
starts wiggin' out on people.
